feelings

I feel crazed. I feel like I need a years worth of sleep. I feel like I’m on an mental adrenaline high until 5 p.m. today because then work is over and I don’t have to do anything that I don’t want to do. But there is so much to do today and I don’t want the “to-do” to take over and make me feel like an incompetent superwoman. Now, I’m not trying to be a superwoman, however, I’d like to live this day very smart. I don’t want to regret it or after it’s all said and done feel bad about the choices I made and what it led me to accomplish.

I’d like to continue this blog by giving my self a much needed pat on the back.  This work week I worked out every day and I hit it hard. I am happy that I kept that commitment to myself. This week I began brainstorming and jotting down new notes for my screenplay and I am so very proud of that. One of my goals is to read a least one novel a month, this week, I received I started A. Mercy by Toni Morrison. I can’t wait to get back into it this weekend. This week I endeavor to be wheat free and I just about made it, with the exception of a pinch size piece of a cupcake. This week I gave of myself through emails, friends, Facebook, new opportunities, at work, at the gym, spiritually. This week I had fun too. I laid out on my couch a couple of nights and thought and felt free, I connected with friends, I cooked dinner a couple of times and it was good. And, check this I brought my lunch to work 3 out of 5 times this week with snacks and did not hit the vending machine for junk. (that’s another blog to come). I also didn’t eat out of negative emotion – HUGE.  Finally, I had some good prayers this week but they could have been better…they will be better.

As I ponder over my feelings, you see how I led myself to feelings of gratitude and happiness over the positive. And, this is the mood I’d like to stay in within the midst of all that is required of me today. The challenge is balancing the 9-5 with life. When the 9-5 isn’t centered on your passion it isn’t considering living – not in my book at least. Thus, life has to be infused into me and by extension wherever I am – work etc. And living…oh to LIVE. Living happens when you are connected with your true purpose as defined by our Creator and use the gifts and talents he’s given you to express yourself.

So, my feelings bring me to calm now. And gratitude. And decision, once again. These feelings are my expression and a gift to me and you.

cde